It is and will always be you.

Fairy tales do exist contrary to popular belief. My life was one, mine just doesn't have a happy ending.

I met you two and a half years ago and it changed my life. You were every bit of a gentlemen, and your smile made my heart beat fast. Your warmth pulled me out of my icy depths, and you showed me a world full of color and joy. Some memories I have with you, don't even seem real. They are so perfect; it almost seems as if I dreamed them. I remember smiling and laughing more than I ever have in my entire life with you. You were my prince and I was your princess. It was love. We couldn't get enough of each other. 

Then we started having hard times. Sin crept in, and our relationship started sinking fast. We tried to hang on, but eventually you let go. I prayed and hoped you would come back and we would be happy again.

And thats exactly what happened. You flew back into my life like a cool breeze. I was in heaven again. I thought you were too.  

Then things got hard again. You became distant, and I became clingy. The usual boy girl relationship. 

And then you decide you want to be friends, so I agree to it. 

Friends...such a simple word, but not when it comes to you. Your actions scream out that you love me, but your words say otherwise. Which do I believe? Everyday is a rollercoaster with you, and Im just along for the ride trying not to throw up.

Either way Im the loser. I am in love with you, and only you. 

A close friend asked me this: "So who do you see in the future now?" I had no response, cause its empty without you there. 

It has and will always be you.

I just wish you would let yourself

Sometimes I wonder just exactly what Im doing here. You push and I pull. Its a tug of war between us. I tell myself things will change, that under that hardened heart of yours that you really do love me, but your words can be so convincing. I don't know what to believe anymore. Im lost and confused when it comes to you. I love you, but it isn't returned or so you say, but not two weeks ago you couldn't get enough of me. You say it isn't me, so what is it? Why do you question so much? I know you are going through a lot and you say this is the only way, but is that the truth or are you just trying to make excuses for your lack of feelings for me. I need answers. My heart can only wander for so long in search for you. I miss my best friend, my lover, and my other half. Its hard to watch someone you love walk out the door and not do anything because thats what they want. I wish I knew your heart, but I don't even think you do. You are so lost in what you believe and feel. Its a tangled web of emotions. If I give up now, I won't prove my love or loyalty to you, but if I wait and you never come, I will be a fool that lived in a fairy tale waiting for her ever after and refused to face reality. You say one thing and then do another. I am on roller coaster with you and I feel like Im about to crash into the ground. For me its simple...I want you and only you. For you its not so simple....you don't even know if you believe in love. For now my decision is to wait even if it cost my pride in the end. I love you more than I show sometimes and I know you love me, or so I think.  I just wish you would let yourself.